


dark between stars

by howlingheartdemigod (helpmeimstuckon)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: And they have to run a resurrection ceremony, Character Death, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Jester dies, Resurrection Ceremony, yeah I know I suck and only write angst and use my power for evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 06:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18310229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helpmeimstuckon/pseuds/howlingheartdemigod
Summary: The fight had been bad. Bloody and violent. They’d been under-prepared, they’d been blindsided, they’d been stupid. And Jester had gone down, and Caduceus had gone down, and Fjord couldn’t get to either of them, and by the time the dust settled, life had left Jester.-Jester Lavorre dies. Her friends plead with her to come back.





	dark between stars

**Author's Note:**

> originally a prompt fill on tumblr  
> "Can we get some Fjorester - Fjord being worried/protective about Jester? Or maybe.... resurrection ritual?"  
> find me there at howlingheartdemigod
> 
> title from an atticus poem  
> “she was that wild thing I loved.  
> my dark between stars.”
> 
> if you really like it, my ko-fi can be found at ko-fi.com/howlingheart

The fight had been bad. Bloody and violent. Bad sight in the dark room, no good viewpoints around the frankly ridiculous number of pillars holding the cavern up, horrible terrain to walk on, and on top of that, water was streaming in from the storm that shook the ground with thunder, even as deep as they were. They’d been under-prepared, they’d been blindsided, they’d been stupid.

And Jester had gone down, and Caduceus had gone down, and Fjord couldn’t get to either of them, and Beau only had the one healing potion, and by the time the dust settled, life had left Jester.

He didn’t realize he was moving towards her until he was at her side. He didn’t realize he had gone weak until he was on his knees. He didn’t realize he was reaching for her until his hand was brushing her hair back. His gaze shot up, searching, eyes wide, wet. He found Caduceus’ beaten form, leaning heavily on Caleb a few feet off. “Fix this.” Fjord called, shaking with pain and anger and fear. Fear that they couldn’t. Fear that she was gone. Fear that he’d failed her. “Bring her back.”

Caduceus took a long breath. “I can try.” He said, stepping away from the wizard, moving to kneel on her other side. “But it’s ultimately up to her.” 

Fjord watched his friends father around. Nott, her flask in hand, Beau, looking wrecked at the sigh of Jester, looking Guilty. Caleb fidgeted with spell components, like he was searching for something, some way to help. Yasha, despite her size, managed to come to kneel next to Fjord without his notice, face stone, shoulders lined with determination. Fjord waited for them to gather, waited for Caduceus to dig a diamond from his pockets, waited for the magic called at Caduceus’ words to settle around them, for the too familiar ritual to begin. 

The first time they’d done this was for Caleb. They’d all agreed that the new goal was to never have to do it again, to protect each other better so they never needed to. The next time was Beau. Now Jester. As thankful as he was for it, Fjord was sick of needing it. He would like it better if he could keep them all from getting hurt ever again. 

But he knew Beau would kick him for thinking that he was responsible for her dumbassery, and Jester would happily inform him she was not a damsel in distress, so he didn’t voice that aloud. 

Fjord took a deep breath and felt the magic settle around him; calm, judicious, waiting. 

He looked up and around, seeing who wanted to start. In an instant he could tell that no one knew how to. Jester meant so much to all of them. She was their joy, their glue. She'd brought them together, she kept them together. He swallowed, hand curling around her fingers, trying to think of what to say. 

“I, uh…” Beau shook her head a little, then lowered herself down next to Caduceus. “I’m bad with words, but… I’ll try.” Fjord watched Beau fumble with her pockets, searching for something. “Jes, when we met I was an asshole. I remain, in fact, an asshole, but, uh, you are…” Beau pulled a familiar deck of cards from her pocket and started shuffling through them. He watched her linger on one, a smile coming to her lips. “You make me want to be a better person. You are the first person I had who I cared about not because I got something out of it, but because I just… wanted to. You make me a better person. You make us all better people. Jester you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, so please, find the strength to come back to us.” Beau put the cards in Jester’s hands, the Anvil facing up, and settled back, curling into herself. Fjord couldn’t help but smile, thinking of Mollymauk’s first reading for jester that day, thinking of how happy she’d been. 

Beau looked across at Fjord, giving him a weak smile. He couldn’t manage to return it, instead looking down at Jester’s form. She was growing cold already. She wasn't supposed to feel this cold. She wasn't supposed to be this still. It was wrong for Jester to be this still.

“I’d like to say something.” Nott called softly, setting her flask aside. She stumbled up next to Fjord, hands trembling a bit. She looked at Jester, then to her hands, then reached to softly take Jester’s hand from Fjords grip. “Just for a second.” she promised. “Jester, Beau is right. You make us all better people You’re our light, Jes.” Nott started taking rings off her own fingers and putting them on Jester’s, smiling a little at each one. “You bring us hope. You bring us joy. You protect us, and you heal us. And, beyond that, I would be a horrible detective without you.” even Fjord couldn’t keep from letting out a little laugh, his mingling with the tear strained sound of his friends. “I would. Without you, I wouldn’t have found my husband. I wouldn’t have survived the way here. We’ve got more mysteries to solve, Jes.” Nott took the last ring off her finger, and slid it onto Jester’s, her ring of water walking. “Come solve them with me.”

Nott put Jester’s hand back in Fjords, picked her flask back up, sitting back, and waiting, watching, hoping. 

There was a moment of pause, when Fjord realized he needed to say something. Say anything. He needed to try. Caleb was too shell shocked staring at her. Yasha wasn’t a woman of words in this way. And Caduceus… Caduceus was watching him quietly across the way, waiting. 

Fjord took a breath, shifting to sit up, sit proper. Like he was addressing a lady, like he was a proper gentleman. “I don’t know what there is to say that hasn’t already been said. We need you, Jes. We all do. But I… I need you. I need you here. I need you to call me the wrong name, and make those jokes that go over my head until an hour later. I need you to tell me when I’ve stepped over a line, and need you to hold me up when I feel like falling down. I need you Jester. I need you like I need air. I… I love you Jester.” It hit him in a wave, the truth of the words. He looked down at her, and went to brush a hand through her hair, letting out a broken breath, too terrified to do much else. when he spoke again his voice was low, quiet. “I love you, so much. and I’m sorry I haven’t told you. Hadn’t found the words till now. But come back. Come back so I can tell you every day. Come back so I can tell you proper.” Fjord lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss there, eyes shut, then he lowered his forehead to her hand, and waited, and hoped, and prayed. 

Her hand turning in his grasp to cradle his face was the sweetest sugars and the warmest of hearths. His eyes flew open, meeting her sparkling blue gaze. She smiled a little, “How long have you been secretly in love with me?” she asked, a brow lifting a bit. Fjord let out a laugh, and ducked forward kissing her properly this time, kissing her like she was air. Realizing, surrounded by his friends, cradling her to him, that he’d endure a thousand more battles, a hundred more blows, if it meant keeping her. 

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know what you think!


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